Many of us, including myself, don't want to face our emotions, so we shove them down with food. However, when you fast, you have no choice. Your fat doesn't just hold toxins and excess calories--it also holds stress and anger, which is the true main cause of cancer, according to many doctors and healers. Fasting is a muscle-sparing state that burns damaged and diseased cells very quickly. So once you move into a ketosis state through fasting, your fat starts to burn up fast and within each fat cell you have a lot of negative crap that is going to come out one way or the other. And I realized last night that just because I didn't want to deal with my emotions, they wanted to deal with me. and I ended up crying my eyes out over all the pain I felt over being told I was bad or broken or sick or worthless or a loser or crazy or a bad mother or any of the other gazillion things I've been told negatively about myself by the ones closest to me. I now realize those words aren't really true these last three years, but just a few narrow-minded opinions from people who have absolutely no room to talk and a lot of resentment at me through most just sibling rivalry. After I released all the hurt back to them, the tears flowed like a river. And then just like that, I felt calmer and more clear and more able to face the world and all the battles I'll have to do in order to get my baby back. One year down, and if I can make it through the last year, nothing will destroy me now--not even a three-year battle to undo an unknowing mistake I made when I signed off the rights to my pumpkin through false pretenses and under duress. To all of you single mothers who struggle to pay bills while receiving none or maybe a little child support, don't give up, and don't give in. If family want to take your child from you when you are at your lowest point, they are not your family. Family should uplift, encourage and support you in your darkest hours--not take the only thing in the world from you for whom your heart beats. Fight to the death and remember you cannot trust anyone. You babies depend on it, or they're going to end up just as messed up as you if they're being raised the same way you were. It's a messed up system when you look at it as it really is.
I will continue to fast. It's getting me super clean, and when it's all over, I know I will be a force to reckon with even more than ever.
Until Next Time, Eat Raw, Live Long!