Don't get me wrong. I still love my parents and my siblings--with the deepest love that the oldest in a family can feel. It's just that they seem to not understand that I have been the only one to go to therapy to sort out all the trauma of our lives. My head is finally on straight, and I have decided to raise my child in a faith that they are not. It doesn't make it wrong. It's just different. Very well, then.
I started In the Raw Test Kitchen to give myself and little man a chance to change our course, to change our circumstances. We needed a new start, and what better way to do that than to also share something that was wonderful and amazing for bringing me back to a sense of connection to the world. My son deserved his mommy to do what she loved best--helping others, including him. I deserved a second chance to prove to my son that I would do anything necessary to make sure his life was one that every child needed. I've made slow and steady progress for two years. Going back to school for a second degree (4.0 GPA, not easy), conquering my coping mechanism with alcohol, and finding a way to make something happen that people told me couldn't be done. It's been a difficult road, with missteps and mistakes on my part, ridicule and betrayals around every corner, and doubt from those who felt they had a say-so in whether or not I was good enough.
I learned several weeks ago that I would never be good enough for my baby boy to those who were closest to me by blood, but not by proximity. Those who have invested money in me and my business are the ones who are closest to me on a daily basis and they are still willing and ready to back me to the end. I've never had that before. It's a feeling I'm still getting used to, and I am forever grateful. They understand the woman I am, and knowing that there are people in this world who will fight for me instead of me doing it by myself is beyond words. I'd like to say heartwarmed, stupefied, astounded, and relieved, but those words don't even cut muster.
Anyway, I know that what I'm doing, as difficult and exhausting as it can be, is what this world needs. I am not a doctor, but doctors come to me for what they know they need. As long as I continue bringing something that is worthwhile and valuable, the universe will not let me down.
Until next time, Eat Raw, Live Long!